This was originally posted on the Minneapolis Star Tribune Cribsheet blog, but since I'd really like some feedback on other parent's experiences I thought I'd cross post it here!

I am officially ready for my first day of Kindergarten.  After 3 grueling months of thinking about it every day, I am finally ready to take the plunge.  In less than 48 hours I will stand at the classroom door, wave goodbye and take my first steps towards independence and a new phase in life.  I will calmly attach my nametag, smile at my peers and try to appear as if I know what I am doing and pretend that I am happy to be there, all while thinking I would really like to be at home cuddling to the Disney channel. 

Yes, in less than 48 hours, I will officially be the mother of a Kindergartener and the prospective member of the PTA.

Sending my first baby off to Kindergarten after 5 ½ years of having her all to myself is both a blessing and a heart wrenching change.  While I have watched her grow increasingly independent, capable and, most importantly, bored, I know that she is ready for this new phase of life.  She is ready to take on new challenges, meet new people and experience a world formerly foreign and completely exciting to her. 

Problem is, I’m not.

It seems that I have grown quite used to our time together.  Routines and friendships were built around my firstborn’s needs and now it’s time to let that go in favor of the more structured scheduling that school provides. To meet other parent’s in this new and scary world I will have to sign up for committees, attend meetings…be productive, as opposed to sitting on my butt complaining about all things Mommy.  I will have to act like an adult and contribute to the school’s mission, pretending all the time to care about fundraisers and parties and planning…in short, all things completely uninteresting to me. 

I will do this to bond with the new era of school age parents. 

I will do this all with the familiar nervous twitch in my face, butterflies in my stomach and angst in my head that have accompanied social situations since my own introduction to kindergarten 23 years ago.

I will do this while simultaneously starting all over with my younger children. Gone will be the familiar ease of playgroups and ECFE classes where I knew everybody.  I will now be the new girl again, the one who needs to break into the cliques, the one who needs to be engaging and fun, the one who needs to do all the work to get included.

 I am dreading the idea of entering this world again. 

Bonding with other mothers is not something that comes easy to me. As a committed introvert and cynic, I have trouble initiating interactions, but I am hoping that now that I am “experienced,” it will help to break the ice. But I am also worried that this same experience could separate me further from the new mother crowd that I will likely be entering. 

Since I have been fully entrenched in Mommy World for the past five years adding not one but 3 more kids to the picture (while currently incubating a fourth), I worry that I will not be able to relate to the conversation and concerns that bonded me to the Mommies of old.  I also worry that the sheer number of kids I have will greatly detract from our desirability as playdate companions.  After all, I wouldn’t be eager to open my house to a 3 year old, 18 month destructive twins and a newborn—would you?

As I enter this new phase of life that is simultaneously moving back and forward at the same time, I ask other parents this:  How do you make other parent friends?  Are any friendships made based more off your children’s needs than your own?  Or have you been lucky enough to meet like minded souls whose children just happen to engage with yours?

Please share!