We call our kids nicknames, always have, and probably always will. Very rarely do we call our kids their real names, often opting for what seem to be logical derivations in our minds.  Brooklyn became Booku.  Kyan was Chi-Chi (Eric wanted to call him “Child” in the womb—with a British accent…it quickly became the more accessible Chi-Chi) and the babies have been Morty and George since the 20 week ultrasound when we found out with certainty that they were boys.

We have held true to our impulses even though family has questioned us about our decisions, acquaintances have refused to give in to the nicknames due to the confusion it causes and we have been questioned about our babies seeming inability to answer to their name. 

None of this mattered.  But now, something is starting to matter.

By his own decision, Kyan has decided that he wants to be called Kychael.

“What’s your name?” Strangers ask him.

“Um, I Kychael.  I’m five.” He proudly mumbles back. To which I shrug and indulgently smile at my creative child, secretly pleased that he is taking his own initiative in the nickname brigade.

But, in ironic twist, the initiative that my children are showing is starting to cause a problem.  It seems that the most natural derivation/shortening of Kychael is a not so pleasant term.

“Kike! Kikie baby” Brooklyn screams through a store trying to grab her little brother’s attention, much to the dismay/amusement of our fellow shoppers.  “Kike, Kike, come here right now!”

As you might now see, this is somewhat of a problem.  I am not entirely comfortable with my children running around screaming derogative names at each other as nicknames, but it is hard to squash something that we have so emphatically started.

I’m having trouble thinking of a way to explain why Brooklyn shouldn’t scream this to Kyan in a way that she will a) understand and b)care enough about to listen to.  I don’t really feel that a five year old needs a lesson in the crappy way that people treat each other and saying “That’s not a nice thing to say, please don’t” isn’t cutting it.

So, until I figure out a way to avoid this unpleasantness, please know that if you hear a little girl scream “KiKE!!” in public, it is done in complete innocence, much to the embarrassment of her mother.