Today is a day that I would pay to have the luxury of going to work for 8 + hours. When I was younger I would work obsessively, picking up shifts for coworkers, always averaging well over 40 hours a week, while my friends did such inconsequential things as go to school.  To me, work was my part of my identity. I loved being independent.  I loved being busy.  I loved getting paid.

Nowadays the only work I do is completely thankless, endless and nonpaying. It leaves in my a certain void that leaves me restless and uneasy at times. It leads me to think that I would do anything as long it:

a)      did not involve my own children and

b)      gave me some contact with the outside world. 

Data entry?  Heavenly. 

Garbage collecting?  Bring it on. 

Donating plasma for profit?  Where do I sign up?

Trouble is, I can’t get a job.  The sheer amount of money it would take to have someone else watch my children fight for an entire day would cost more that my as of yet unmarketable skills would ever make.

So, instead I sit home, (again in the basement), and read Craigslist obsessively for other people.  Don’t ever tell me that you’ve been considering a career change because I will bombard you with forwarded postings—whether they fit your career path or not. I live vicariously through my working friends, both real and on TV, deciding through the glamorized portrayals of their characters whether or not I would be good at or enjoy their job.

This relentless research has given me an impressive base of possible post kid career paths. 

The acceptable list includes:

Nurse

Writer (book, magazine, newspaper, tv show…whatever)

Factory Worker

Data Entry Clerk

NFL “Jumper”

Advertising

Teaching (any where from early childhood to college)

Lawyer (think Law and Order)

Detective (see above)

Daycare Provider/Nanny

Coffee shop owner

Hugely successful comedian who never bombs and is loved by the masses and therefore           never has to deal with rejection or the reality of her unfunniness

and many more…

So, as you can probably see, I am open to many types of work and bursting with undiscovered talent that is begging to be put to use.  Because of this, I will continue to seek out jobs for others in an attempt to live out my dreams (I can’t wait til my kids are older…I’ll have four minds to warp with my failures and dreams!), and also to occupy my never ending days with fantasies of what I would be if only….