I’ve been spending a lot of quality time with myself lately and it’s made me realize just how lonely mommy-hood can be.  Sure, I’m surrounded by four kids who talk constantly and want massive amounts of attention, but they aren’t real companionship.  These days the only time I get one on one adult time is two hours on Wednesdays when I take my kids to class and the few hours a week I have to talk to my beloved when we’re not otherwise occupied with life.

I do have friends that I talk to occasionally, but no one I see on a regular basis.  I’m in a weird situation.  Friends from my pre kid days that don’t have kids yet tend to not understand my life. They are fun, comfortable and much appreciated, but not completely fulfilling.

Friends that I’ve met through mommy-ing have yet to become more “my” friends, than my kids, and we meet up for play dates and talk mostly about our kids.  Once again, much needed and enjoyed conversation, but still lacking the personal connection.

Maybe I just haven’t matured enough to realize that the all encompassing oh my god you’re my best friend I tell you everything I’ll die if you even go on vacation, is not adult.  Maybe adult friendships are based on the situation you’re in together.

Whatever the reality is, I am in desperate need of some more social contact.  I have become the complete and total whack job that emails or calls her friends/husband/parents/in-laws all day at work because she is sooo bored—not exactly a charming habit.

I think I am mostly nervous about this whole friend issue because I flat out suck at making friends. My pre kid friends have been around since junior high and my mommy friends will most likely be dispersing once the life changing moment of sending your oldest child to Kindergarten starts.

From there, I will be left trying to forge my way into a new social circle, being the dreaded mother with four kids who lands on an unsuspecting clean “baby proofed” house, leaving it in shambles, having taught the unsuspecting mother what baby proofing isn’t—a reality that is not exactly going to fill my play date card.

Perhaps I should embrace this life of solitude for what it really is…a chance to find myself, a chance to bond with my children, a chance to find peace and tranquility within my soul…or a chance to post the crap out of the social networking blogosphere that I am ever so dorkily drawn to.

Watch out world, (aka Facebook), Betsey is bored and dangerous!