While Justin Timberlake is bringing sexy back, I'm all over the 80s guido scene.

I was looking for something to hate and I found it: me.

I became THAT GUY. By not wearing cologne regularly, I became THAT GUY.

This morning, getting ready to head out into the world (aka to work), my eyes fell upon the lovely bottle of L'eau D'Issey that my mom gave me for Christmas last year.  Here is the lovely bottle:




Then I had a little tinge of guilt. I had hardly ever used it over the last 360 (or so) days, so I grabbed the bottle and started spritzing. And spritzing. And spritzing.

I mean, come on! Only a tiny little bit seems to come out, and it doesn't start smelling strong right away. It has some sort of delayed fragrancing mechanism, I think.

I started to hate myself in the car.

Even in Minnesota in December, I had to open a window. Crank the heat and roll down that window because I am THAT GUY. I should have been driving a 1986 IROQ Z and wearing gold chains that dangled in my open chest hair. I had become "Too Much Cologne Guy" and I had to own it. I had to walk into work grabbing my crotch and hitting on anything with breasts. I was bringing Guido back.

The fragrance, by the way, is described as "a fresh, yet warm, woody scent, accented with spicy notes." I think those spicy notes made me want to puke. And woody scent? I'm just lucky a dog didn't stop to pee on me.

To save the next guy out there, here is the correct way to spritz: spritz into the air and then walk under the falling spritz — no more than three spritzes people! Otherwise: http://www.pricerock.com/servlet/Page?template=14KYellowGoldChains&gclid=CLCRvpqTupACFQUolgodHEnxMg